Video 036 Couple therapy Phase 2 (Desensitizing externalised hostile attitudes and prejudice)
Use this solution
Use with one or both partners in a relationship when past traumas contributing to relational difficulties have been resolve, and the focus is now on current attitudes and prejudice.
This video shows working with one partner of a couple. Depending on the couple, however, and the nature of their relational difficulties, it’s possible to invite each partner to witness EMDR being used with the other. When it’s carefully managed, and where both parties agree, this approach may create better understanding of why each acts as they do. It can help build empathy and compassion, and can strengthen the relationship.
These possible positive outcomes need to be weighed against the risk that what may be disclosed in processing could be damaging to the already ‘stressed’ relationship.
Originator:
Mark I Nickerson, a psychotherapist, clinical consultant and trainer. He is the Director of EMDR Advanced Training and Distance Learning, LLC. https://markinickerson.com
Video production
Matthew Davies Media Ltd, Llanidloes, Powys. www.matthewmedia.com
Take-Away Section
What this covers
The case is about Jane, who came for help about her relationship with her wife, Mary. This video is the second of a three part video series that demonstrates several important aspects of working with difficult partner relationships.
The first video (035) deals with the negative beliefs Jane has about herself, linked to past traumas that are contributing to relational difficulties the couple are currently experiencing.
This second video uses an adaption of the standard EMDR protocol to process the current negative beliefs Jane holds about herself in relation to her partner as well as the negative beliefs she holds about her partner.
The final video, number 037, demonstrates the installation of new skills for future use. It will be released in October.
How long
9.32 minutes
Related videos
Video 035 and 037
Go to ‘Take-away’?
Wrap up:
Aide mémoire: Step by step guide how to use the protocol - available to copy and paste.
+ Wrap up
+ Aide Mémoire
This video calls for the application of an adaption to the standard EMDR protocol to the client’s current negative beliefs about themselves in relation to their partner and the negative beliefs, sometimes highly prejudicial and hostile, about their partner. In previous sessions with the client the therapist:
- Explored the nature of the relationship and the differences between the couple.
- Explored the effect of the differences on their relationship.
- Explored the negative cognitions that accompanied the relational difficulties together with the emotions and the body location.
- Linked the negative cognitions and accompanying emotional feelings to other times in life when the feelings were similar or the same. For example, this client described similar feeling when being bullied at school.
- Explored how the client reacted in the past to being bullied.
- Enquired about similarity and links between past behaviour/reaction/response during the trauma (bullying) and current behaviour in her relationship with the partner.
- Explained the link between past experience and current difficulties in the relationship and why the therapist is proposing to use EMDR to deal with the past.
- Proceeded with the standard protocol to desensitize and reprocess the past trauma.
The focus now is on the current situation in the relationship by targeting their arguments. A time line showing when arguments occurred might be helpful and the worst one or worst ones targeted for desensitization and reprocessing. In the video, we target the worst argument by:
- Identifying the picture that evokes the client’s strongest reaction.
- Finding the client’s negative cognition (NC) she has about the partner.
- Finding the client’s negative cognition (NC) about herself, given what she believes about the partner.
- Find the client’s preferred positive cognition (PC) about herself and get a validity measurement (VoC).
- Find the client’s preferred positive cognition about the partner and get a VoC.
- Identify the client’s emotions when they bring up the original picture and their negative cognition about themselves.
- Get a SUDs score for the incident and the body location.
- Desensitize, using the client’s picture, the client’s NC about themselves, emotions and body location until SUD’s fall to 0-1.
- Check the client’s PC about themselves, and if still valid, install until the VoC is 7 (or at least a 6).
- Check the client’s PC about the partner, and if still valid install as above.
- Do a body scan, and process as usual in the standard protocol.
- Review in the next session and if the work is complete discuss the next phase of the work – addressing the future.