Video 003 ‘Loving Eyes’ procedure

Use this solution

To bring ‘healing’ to an abused part (an EP) feeling unloved/alone/ignored/at fault.  To facilitate integration/reconciliation between parts.  The latter always involves building collaboration, co-consciousness and cooperation between parts that have emerged because of trauma.

Originator

Dr Jim Knipe.

Video production

Matthew Davies Media Ltd, Llanidloes, Powys.
www.matthewmedia.com

What this covers

Case of woman with history of childhood physical and emotional abuse.  When different parts of the personality co-exist, hostility may also be present.  The adult ANP, for example, may not be prepared to ‘accept’ an abused child part (the EP), so that internal conflict will continue to dysregulate the client.  The video shows how to work towards reconciliation between these parts.

How long?

8.37 minutes.

Related Videos

See Video 001 and Video 002.

Go to ‘Take-away’?

For Aide mémoire to use in a client session.


Take-Away Section

+ Wrap-up

  • Loving eyes can also be useful at the Assessment Phase if there is conflict between parts that might interfere with the normal protocol.
  • Sometimes, there is too strong a resistance to ‘looking’ from one part to another, so it becomes impossible for the adult to look at the child or visa versa. In this case try using LOUA (Video 004)to reduce the urge to avoid (not necessarily to zero, but enough to allow processing) can allow Loving Eyes to proceed.

+ Aide-mémoire for loving eyes protocol

You can copy and paste this text into a Word document, and can edit it, adding any additional text you might find helpful.

  1. Ask the adult part what they feel and think about the child part and visa-versa.
  2. Explore why they feel and think like that.
  3. Begin to challenge their positions if there is hostility or fear or anxiety. For example:
  4. What would other people say if they were aware of what the child had experienced? Who else has experienced what the child did? Then, if they were older or more mature than the child, comparison between the two could be helpful in putting things into a different perspective.
  5. What could the child have done differently?
  6. Ask about the feasibility of any other action?
  7. What difference might it have made?
  8. What would be the downside of doing this?
  9. Check feelings and thoughts again between the parts.
  10. If changed with less hostility, ask the adult part to ‘see’ the child part with compassion and love in their eyes. Do BLS at normal speed.
  11. Ask the usual question, ‘What do you notice now? Followed by ‘go with that’. Carry on with until the relationship between parts demonstrates love and compassion on the part of the adult, and trust, safety, being cared for by the child part.
  12. Often, the child part will then ask to be taken out of where they are ‘trapped’. Taking the child into the adult’s safe place usually works well, or have the adult take the child part with them and into their life. This is the process of integration – don’t push it. Usually it will happen of its own accord.